8 June [Life, Dreams and Regrets]

I’m probably telepathic. I can almost hear the scoffs and the sound of eyeballs rolling at the topic of this post.

He’s only, what, not even a quarter of a century old. What regrets could he possibly have. Fuck, what does he even know about regrets.

Or thereabouts.

If you are one of the (predictable or cynical, take your pick) few as illustrated above, you can’t be more right. I know about regrets as much as I’m well versed in the Shakespeare. Chances are, neither do you. So go read up on Othello and other ‘to be or not to be’s.

What gives? You ask. Well, have you ever woke up one morning feeling as awesome as an energizer rabbit, ready to fuck the hell out of all the lemons the world dares to throw in your direction? You feel so psyched that you don’t just make lemonades; the sheer force of your badassery mutates the shit out of the lemon like radiation did to Johnny Storm. You then casually toss the bright yellow, flame engulfed ball of citrus right back at the universe.

and coolly strides away from the scene after flipping the world off

Well, other times you wake up feeling like this:

This, just less cute.

It’s these mornings when you suddenly jolt from sleep, feeling utterly crappy when you reflect on your life and how much (little) you have accomplished. The comfort of your bed seems to be mocking you, like that cold cold shower which ensues. Wait. Are those water all over your droopy facade? Or are those your wimpy tears? Okay, I exaggerate but you must admit you like the melodramatic effect.

Though, unfortunately, the part where you reflect on how little you have accomplished is as true as it gets.

Then I realize, actually I have no real regrets.

Sure, I wished I hadn’t bought that piece of shitty LG laptop from Harvey Norman; and I wished I had agreed to go to that party last month. But these are not really regrets, aren’t they? When we say regrets, we usually refer to those crucial, life altering decisions which make a difference. Okay, maybe if I were to put it that way, one of my regrets was my failure to rescue a dog which was run down on the streets. It might not have been monumental, but it’s not as trite as a poor purchase decision or a fashion faux pas which may or may not have led to a socially awkward situation.

Source: College Humor

And then some of you will go, ‘I may not have very significant regrets. But I have dreams. Lofty dreams!’

Quick survey. What are some of your dreams?

Huge houses? Loving family? Enough dollar bills to wipe your sniffles with? Be the next top model? Have your own fashion label? Be an international celebrity? Maybe join the pro soccer team? Top of your career ladder?

I ish wanna be besh pilot!

If you’re like anybody else, you’ll probably want to have more than two of the above, and very few of us are as noble as to have dreams and aspirations like, ‘ I wanna find the cure for HIV and cancer!’,’ I wanna be the next Mother Theresa’, ‘ I wanna make world peace a reality’. Okay, the last one will probably be (pretentiously) true if you’re running for a pageant.

There is also a chance that you might not even have a concrete dream- a dream that you’re actually working towards. It’s not really that pressing isn’t it? To have a dream at this age, since we are so young? Oh, these excuses are as common as eye shits and are lies we tell ourselves to coax our spirits. And then we remember the accomplishments some people our age have already bagged.

Dr Seus: This monkey has been on the moon. What 'bout you!

I’m not saying all the other non-grandiose dreams are trivial and unimportant. Dreams and aspirations are all important because they keep us going. Simple dreams are still dreams and shouldn’t be undermined. It is the lack of aspiration that sucks. The point is, just because our dreams doesn’t involve saving thousands of lives, doesn’t mean it is not worthy to be an aspiration or a dream.

No moderately sane people would wake up one morning and think, ‘I’m going to make human flight possible by inventing a serum which gives people wings!” [Author's note: Not paid by Redbull for promotional slogan. However commission is welcome.]

Most lofty dreams stem from an equally compelling occurance, which inexplicably have an unusually powerful effect on the said aspirator. Perhaps maybe his fiancée’s plane was hijacked and she was casually tossed out of the plane mid-flight at 10000 feet above ground. The resulting trauma was so severe he felt compelled to equip every single human being with wings so that such tragedy does not ever occur again.

However, shit falling from the sky is now going to be a serious socio-cultural issue

Really, not many of us (and hopefully so) will ever have such magnitudinal incident that can awaken our internal lofty-aspiration generator.

So, instead of being dejected at having your dreams call trite. Fuck ‘em. Your dreams are yours and no one can judge it, not even if your life long dream involves swallowing 1000 sausages in under 5 minutes. It’s still respectable (also fatal) dream. I mean, hell, if you think it’s gonna give you a sense of pride and accomplishment after successful completion, do it.

I think I might have ADD, I have totally deviated from my original intent of this post but it’s still something.

Woah. I’m surprised I’m even here.

I wonder how many people are actually still reading this. But heck, at this stage, I’m just keeping tabs on my life so that if I happen to be an international star one day, I can look back and write a biography. Then again, write a biography? Sheesh. Right now, the only literary ( How the hell do you pronounce this shit without making it sound like, literally?) work I see myself doing is reports.

After the  3-year reports marathon. I’m feeling the burn from the academic lactic acid.

Okay, in the interest of any stalkers I might have, my polytechnic education kinda ends on 15 February. But at this point, I can’t see that far yet. My life is clouded by reports and L4D2 zombies (Hell yeah, pipe bombs!). After that, I might just work all the work I have wanted to work but couldn’t work and have all the fun I wanted to have but couldn’t have.

Still, I’m generally happy as fuck

You know, sometimes I think I’m really too oblivious to my surrounding. Like, my friend would tell me a certain someone feels a certain way about me and I would be like, no shit? Or they would tell me about something which had happened behind my back and i would be like, no wayyyy. What this means is that you shouldn’t really be waiting for me to pick up hints. I don’t pick up 20cent coins, I don’t pick up hints. I probably wouldn’t know if there’s an elephant in the shower.

So if you used to be mad at me or used like me (I can only hope) but I didn’t know, I guess I’m sorry.

Still, even though I suck at picking up hints, please don’t throw a bucket of it in my face? I will get terribly scared/sad/angry/confused easily , depending on what it is.

I was telling some of my friends how these 3 years had make me weak physically and mentally. I haven’t had regular exercises for quite a bit and my fitness is pretty worrying. I pant after a trip to the kitchen. Phew. I’m already sweating buckets typing for this long.

Also, I didn’t realize how dependent I have become until recently. And I act like a little kid, even more childish than my juniors. This isn’t good, especially since I’m enlisting pretty soon. I’m impressed at past myself when I reminisce about the SJ times. I didn’t skip CCA just because it’s PT, or just because it’s too tough. But now, I just might. It’s amazing how how we used to survive those shit ass torture and I could fucking push myself to do loads of heavy duty work without much protest from Mr. Cerebrum. Now he’s this whinybitch in my brain.

Man up.

Oh yeah, my friend from SP Touch Rugby was telling me how many of her friends are lesbians/bisexuals. Hell yeah, hot lesbians are hot. Duh. And she said that SP is pretty okay compared to other polytechnics, which means that TP/NP/NYP/RP has got to have a legion of lesbian touch ruggers barreling through the fields.

Anyway, my point is that I think all girls are bisexual.

My barrage of fleeting topics have probably gotten your brain neurons all tangled up (cue Rapunzel song). I iz  NINJA! Still, I hope you guys will stay with me and I hope to see y’all around

Less than three

16 Dec

I iz back from Hong Kong and Macau!

And I’m feeling the withdrawal from the sleep debt of the past five days. For the past few days, sleep has been little and shallow while day activities are draining. Still, it was all in good fun.  Hong Kong has an insane night life and there were so many things to do. Hongkies also dress very much better than we do here. Hell, they’re look like they’re going to prom everyday. I exaggerate, but you get the point.

You would think that Singapore has a pretty decent night life. Wrong. Shops in Hong Kong are still mostly open at 11.00pm and the streets are so crowded you’d think it’s 8pm on an 85 street. We could even go for a massage at 2am in the morning for cheap.

So Xavier, Jasmin, Boonkai and I met at the budget terminal one early afternoon on the 11th December for our flight towards Hong Kong. Our plane reached the country which felt like it was fully air-conditioned, and checked into our hostel right smack in the middle of Mongkok. The night was young, so was the impeccably well dressed crowd. I have to admit it was very daunting to be walking along the streets carrying luggages, trying to navigate to our hostel. We had dinner at a small food place which sells really cheap food, which tastes funny. And then we went back to our cozy hostel with bunk beds and hit the sacks.

Day 2 saw a very packed schedule, with many activities in one day. We woke up pretty early for breakfast at the Australian Dairy place, which sells very awesome dairy pudding-ish thing. The queue was freakishly long, but we got in fast cuz the waiters were really efficient. Of course that means we have to leave as soon as we finished eating. We then headed for Disney Land, at Hong Kong island. It cost pretty much, but it was really fun and we get to take photos with the Disney princesses and cartoon character. And for some reason, I got lots of Deja Vu during the trip to Disney land. :/

Following which we headed to the Madame Tussauds wax museum on the peak which was super chilly and foggy. We also went for fortune telling on the Market Street after a quick browse through Temple street. Apparently, I don’t like the girls who like me and those I really like will be really whimsical (like me). She concluded that around April- June next year, I would meet someone who is slightly older than me and who is really pretty. I hope the latter is true though age is not exactly an issue either. We then went for a spontaneous massage at this place opposite our place at 2am. It was refreshing and the dog was amazingly obedient and adorable I wanna stow it in my bag and bring it back.

–TBC—

so anyway, for the third and forth day, we met Karen and her friend for Dimsum at various places. We also got to ride those super skinny bus-like electric trams which was insanely cool. Hong Kong’s H&M was one of the venues we have great anticipation for. Their merchandises were really really cheap and Boonkai grabbed a bunch of tees at about S$8-11 each. I just got a formal shirt which costs only like S$10. It was super awesome. After which, we headed back to Temple Street and Ladies Market.

The last two days saw us in Macau, which was freezing by the second day. We stayed in Emperor Hotel, which is smack in the middle of like, 10 Casinos or something. The first thing we did after checking into the hotel is to crash the casinos.

That night alone we visited like, around 5-6 casinos. I swear I passive smoked twice as much in that few hours, compared to my 19 years of life till then. But then, there was free sandwich and bao and horlicks.

Anyway, after two days of insane gambling, we all flew back to Singapore the next very very terribly cold morning.

2 June

Calista is damm funny as usual. She totally cracks me up.

HELLO CALISTA, I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!

P.S. Stop hiding your bangs. I have seen all the unglam things you have done over the years in St John. Hahahh!

23 May [Endlessly]

Quotes are for losers.

I totally agree with that.

Admit it, we are all fucking losers at some point in time. That moment of wallowing in the pool of morbidity, we all hate but we all can identify with.  Somehow, somewhere, certain words that have always been around suddenly speak out to you, and there is redemption. There is hope.

It’s just as those Zennish masters from cheesy flicks had said ” The answer will come to you when you are ready”.

Who the hell cares what anybody else thinks!?
Just look into your heart… do whatever the hell makes you happy.

-DR. BOB KELSO

I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts and of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn’t the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

-THE HOURS

When there is a connection with a quote, you get a tantalizing peek into living the perfect life. You learn something. So be proud being a loser. You learn more.

Right now, I’m learning. And there is no ounce of bitterness.

16 April [These are the people I love]

39th Student Council on 15th April 2010.

Venue: City Hall, Marina Square.

25 March [I Stand Firm]

Sometimes, I think it’s really important for people to not succumb to conformity. Like the way I love ketchup with fries, ketchup on my burger even though everyone else seems to love chili sauce instead. SUPPORT THE KETCHUP OVER CHILI SAUCE CAUSE! Honestly, look, ketchup is awesome alright.

Anyway,  I would just like to point out that there is no point playing the My-Life-Is-Suckier-Than-Yours game on Facebook. Usually, someone would start out with a simple status about a particularly onerous activity they have to do (there’s actually nothing wrong with that). Then, people after people would comment, trying to cap each other off with reasons why their activity is worse than the others

And that’s the problem.

I mean, sure, someone is definitely going to win the competition, blown up or otherwise. But so what, you’re probably going to get no kick out of it. I mean, there’s nothing worth being happy about winning this kind of competition. Except if you want sympathy, you’d probably get lots of it.

I know it’s kinda ironic since I used to do that as well, but I swear I’ve been putting in effort to cut it down.

Say ‘No’ to pity parties.

On a side note, one thing I like about internship is that we get to make lots of new friends and we are forced to be independent (Read: sometimes eating lunch alone).

And, Kelly Clarkson’s A Moment Like This is the reason why I’m watching American Idol Season 1 all over again.